14 Dec 2008

我用一生去寻找 - 10.中国人最应该戒迁怒

10.中国人最应该戒迁怒

 10. Chinese should be the first to refrain vent

孔子曾赞扬弟子颜回“不迁怒”。当时我看到这句话的时候年纪还小，不是很理解，我只看到人类有许多的缺点，比迁怒带来的破坏性要多得多。今天，再看孔子这句话，才算真正理解了孔夫子的本意。

 Once the Confucius praised his disciple Yan Hui for “no vent”. At that time, i was just a kid, and can’t quite grasp this statement. I have only seen a lot of human faults, which brought more destructive than vent. At This Time, when i look back at these words, then i understand the real intention of Confucius.

在我们的现实生活中，有多少人受了单位领导的气，回到家里就迁怒在无辜的妻子身上；有的人在家里受了妻子的气，就到单位迁怒在自己的下属身上；连正在成长的孩子们也常常成为这种迁怒的“受气筒”。

 In our actual life, how many people were bullied by unit leader, will vent anger on his innocent wife and kids? And how many were annoyed at home by his wife, will vent on their subordinates of the office? Even the growing children often become such a”scapegoat” for vent.

因为这些迁怒者的自我不够坚强，不能独自承受错误与压力，他们只能靠将自己的挫折感分散到无辜者身上来重新获得对自我的肯定。仔细看看迁怒者的替罪羊，往往是更弱小者。迁怒从来都是自上而下地转移，这暴露了一种不平等的人际关系。而利用这种不平等的人际关系，利用迁怒重新获得肯定的自我是可鄙的。在组织机构中我们尤其要警惕这一点，不能对上级发怒，转而对下级发怒，这是不可取的。根本上我们要戒掉发怒。发怒激化冲突，而更不应该的是迁怒，它会把人际关系逐渐变成“恶”的关系。

 As those who vent their anger are not so strong enough and dare not facing the pressure and error alone, they can only rely on vent their own frustration to the innocent people, then will they regain the self-affirmation. Take a closer look at the scapegoat, they are always the weaker ones. Vent has always been transfered from above to below, which exposed the problem of unequal interpersonal relationships. The behaviors that take the advantage of this relationship and want to regain the self-affirmation via vent, are despiteous. In the organization, we should be particularly vigilant on this point, it was undesirable that dare not to be anger with the superior, then turned to the inferiors. Fundamentally, we have to give up anger. Anger may be intensified to conflict, but the worse is vent, which will gradually convert a interpersonal relationships to a “deteriorated” relationships.

Til next time,
Jason at 00:00